Family Reunion

You meant evil against me; but God meant it for good . . . to save many people alive. —Genesis 50:20


Today’s QT was about Joseph. Joseph is my favorite character in the Bible. It was his story of hardship and forgiveness that led me to Christ 13 years ago. I don’t liken myself to Joseph by any means other than that I was blown away at his ability to forgive and forget despite the cruelty that he endured. It was his letting go that allowed me to let go of my anger and hatred. I was carrying it around for so long and it was really heavy. Like Golem in the Lord of the Rings whose appearance changed because of the ring, I think that my anger and hatred truly changed my appearance. I’m really not kidding about this.

I remember that day alone in my mother’s room in Korea when I gave my life to the Lord, how light I felt. I felt the shackles come free, and the heavy burden lifted off my shoulders.

I rarely talk about my testimony anymore or revisit it in my mind for that matter. I guess I kind of got jaded as I told it so many times throughout college. But I need to remember and revisit it because it is a special testimony. The last time I shared it before a large congregation was with Pastor Joe at a church in Concord. I told myself that was the last time I wanted to ever share it. But that is too absolute and I will continue to share it as God leads me.

Joseph is amazing. If I had the power that he had I might have caused my brothers some harm. Mary says the reason I lift weights is because of my dad, so when I see him I won’t let him hurt me again. But not only for that reason, so I won't let anybody hurt me physically the way he did. I guess I have often thought about our reunion and how it would play out. When I was a kid and he was so mush bigger than me, he never had mercy as he was pummeling me. He would always beat me up in our bathroom so I couldn’t run or move out of the way.

Many years ago I did picture our reunion ending in violence just because of the way he is and all the emotions that would well up inside of me. But I don’t think that way anymore. I haven’t seen him since I graduated from high school. He’s probably this old man now, much smaller than I remember. Life has probably not been kind to him with all the drinking, smoking, and womanizing.

Actually I don’t think we will meet before he dies and as hard as that is I have made my peace with it. Before the birth of my son, I was sitting with Mary and we started to talk about my dad and from out of nowhere I started to sob like a little baby. Like really crying, letting it all out. I never cry so this was really weird and it took me by surprise. I cried because my son would never know his grandfather.