God is Our Refuge and Strength

God is our refuge and strength, an ever-present help in trouble.
Therefore I will not fear, though the earth give way
and the mountains fall into the heart of the sea,
though its waters roar and foam
and the mountains quake with their surging.

I just got done emailing my spiritual grandmother Nellie. She is a prayer warrior and is always praying for me even though she lives all the way in Florida. I just got done asking her to pray for me to rely on God's strength, and this passage in Psalms was today's quiet time.

It's not like my life is dealing with such grand things like a mountain falling into a sea, although some are. Many times trouble comes more silently like a thief in the night in the forms of addiction or depression. Very subtle, yet the devastation that they leave is almost as destructive as an earthquake.

The holiday seasons are hard, epsecially for those without family. I remember being alone during the holidays with the bottle as my only companion. During those times when we feel we are utterly alone and are at our wits end, we have to trust that God is our refuge and strength.

Too Many Christians, Not Enough Lions

I saw an interesting bumper sticker on the way to work the other day. It read, Too many Christians, Not enough lions. I have to admit that's a pretty good one.

Christians get a bum rap these days. I read an interesting article on Tim Tebow the other day, it’s so fascinating how much buzz this guy is getting. Mostly because he’s winning, but it’s also fueled by his in your face faith in Jesus Christ. It’s funny even the most devout NFL players are telling him to tone it down a little, “You’re making us all look bad here Tim.”

Tim Tebow is under such a microscope I hope he never falls publicly, as the media would have a field day with him. It’s unfair really, in my opinion. I never understood the concept where people think Christians are the most perfect people. I guess there are some that portray a squeaky clean image, but I’ve never personally been to a church service where I felt like I was surrounded by perfect people. Who would want to go to a church like that, even if it did exist???

From what I know of the Bible, Jesus came for the sick. He hung out with prostitutes, the crippled/diseased, tax collectors, women caught in adultery, lepers, cheats, thieves, drunkards, idolaters, and murderers, the unclean and outcasts of society basically. In fact he shied away from the “perfect Christians” of those days, the Pharisees and teachers of the law. He not only avoided them, he insulted them and rebuked them every time he got the chance. He called them hypocrites, white washed tombs, and a brood of vipers. I cannot think of a harsher insult than a brood of vipers, he is basically calling them children of the devil.

What I’m getting at, is that Jesus came for the sinners. When I go to church and look around all I see are sick and hurt people who need daily forgiveness. I’m not saying this is a get out of jail free card and Christians have a license to sin, but I don’t think we are better than any body else. We struggle with the same issues, we are all broken and we live in the same broken world. Most of us come from broken homes, abuse, addiction, violence, you name it. And because of this we have various pathologies, disorders, sicknesses and we come to the great physician for healing.

"It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners." (Mark 2:17)

Romans 5:3-4

“Not only so, but we also glory in our sufferings, because we know that suffering produces perseverance; perseverance, character; and character, hope. “

I have been encouraged a lot lately by Romans 5 :3 mainly because I was going through some difficult times. But I never truly understood how character leads to hope, so I Googled it.

I wanted to spend some time writing down my thoughts on the subject and what I read, so I can cement all the different thoughts going through my mind. I also wanted to relate it to me personally because that is how I understand things best.

One writer stated, that character is what you are when you think no-one is watching. First of all, I love that definition. Suffering can test who we really are at the core. I'm reminded of the metaphor of metal being refined by fire.

A couple months ago I lost my job. For many months prior to losing the job and the month after was a very difficult time for me. I was miserable and every part of my life was affected because of my unhappiness at work.

During this time I drew closer to God, not because I was some saint or anything, but out of sheer desperation. I felt like he was the only one I could turn to. Throughout the day I was always in constant communication with God and his word. Mary encouraged me a lot as well during this time and we often came together to God in prayer.

My main prayer throughout this ordeal was that it doesn't matter what happens if I get fired or if I get new job, it doesn't change who God is and who I am in relation to him. I also realized that there are many things in my life that are beyond my control and worrying about them wouldn’t help any.

I felt closer to him than I have in years. And despite the loss of job and uncertainty for our family, I had a great peace that God would always provide our daily bread. I also learned many other great character lesson which I will not bore my few readers here with.

So good character that stands under fire, locks in and cements our faith, which leads to a greater knowledge and understanding of our hope, basically our faith in God and an eternal life in heaven.

I felt that my faith was tested a little bit through this ordeal, I came out of it with even stronger faith, which locked in and further cemented my faith/beliefs, which is the hope/faith that I have in God and eternal life in heaven.

Sorry I had to repeat this a couple times because I am pretty slow.

On another note, this year I am thankful to God for my new job! It is amazing how he not only brought me through this ordeal stronger, but placed me in the most perfect job I couldn’t have even imagined.

Happy Birthday to My Son

Happy Birthday Christian! I love you so much. I can't believe you are 5 years old already. I remember holding you in the delivery room and you looked at me like you knew who I was.

Since then I've seen you grow into the little boy you are now. First crawl, first steps, first time you caught and threw a ball and now you are almost ready for the pros. Last night when we were playing football you amazed me so much, I told you that you were my hero. It was kind of funny but I want you to know I am your biggest fan. You are an amazing athlete, every time I see you hit a baseball, score a soccer goal, catch and throw a football I am always amazed at your 5 year old talent.

You are a great older brother. Your sensitive and gentle demeanor is such a great fit for your little rascal of a brother Aiden. You have so much patience towards him and you are always looking out for him. Your mother and I always say that it's a good thing you are the older one.

I want to be the father to you that I never had. I will always be there for you no matter what. I know there are things beyond my control, but I want to help you become the best man that I can.

You bring so much joy into my life and I want to thank you for that. Every day when I come home, and you yell daddy and run into my arms, that is the best part of my day. As you grow, you must know that I'm growing with you. I know I'm not the perfect dad, but every day you make me better.

Taciturn

God taught me a little more about patience today. You see there is an old lady who always hangs around the campus. She is a student in our adult education program. She has been a part time student ever since I started working here about 7 years ago, and she will probably be a part time student 7 years from now.

When I first started she used to terrorize our office as she was sort of mean and grumpy. She even cussed out my previous boss once, and has been known to cuss out other school administrators. However for some reason I've always tolerated her. I just give her my usual solemn yet professional demeanor. Over the years she has mellowed out a lot. She hasn't yelled or cussed people out. She does camp out in offices though. I mean she comes in for questions, and stays an hour asking more and more questions and telling stories.

I haven't run into her for awhile since I don't see students as much. But both of my counselor's were out sick today. So that left just me. She asked me to fax some loan deferment papers for her, and the whole thing lasted about an hour. I was trying to rush her out as I had other things to do, not a lot, but more important than her. Well towards the end of our visit, I kind of just settled in, maybe I gave up trying to rush her out. I thought I had to help her, might as well take my time with it. We got to talking a little bit and we actually had a wonderful conversation.

It struck me how lonely this woman must be. 77 years old, kids all grown up out of the house, all of them musicians who live in Germany, and other parts of the world. I don't think she has a husband, she just hangs around the school all day. She said she was going to the library and was going to stick around until they kick her out at 11pm.

As she left she turned to me and said "Smile." and I said "Oh this is my normal countenance."

"Taciturn." She said. "Taciturn?" I replied.

"Look it up", she replied.

So I did and taciturn means; habitually uncommunicative or reserved in speech and manner, reserved, introverted. That's totally me! Taciturn, I like it. You learn something new every day.

She went on to say she was the opposite, knew everything about the world around her but dumb when it comes to knowing herself. She said she has found that introverted people are a lot better about knowing who they are, more self aware. Anyways, it was an interesting conversation from an unlikely situation. I'm glad that we got to get to know each other a little better. Maybe the next time I see her, I won't be in a rush to get rid of her.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I drove through a rainbow yesterday. It's been raining a lot in the Bay and yesterday as I was driving home this huge ass rainbow appeared. And as I got closer to my home, I came closer to the end of the rainbow, where the pot of gold is and I actually drove through it. I know I may sound dorky, or seem high like that one dude on Youtube going crazy about a rainbow. But it was pretty cool, I never drove through the end of a rainbow before.

Biblically rainbows can stand for different things in the Bible. The first occurrence of it was right after the flood. It was a covenant between God and us, that He would never do that again. What it meant for me was hope, possibly a new beginning. I was listening to Chris Tomlin's Our God Reigns as I drove through the rainbow and it was just an awesome moment!