Happy Birthday to My Son

Happy Birthday Christian! I love you so much. I can't believe you are 5 years old already. I remember holding you in the delivery room and you looked at me like you knew who I was.

Since then I've seen you grow into the little boy you are now. First crawl, first steps, first time you caught and threw a ball and now you are almost ready for the pros. Last night when we were playing football you amazed me so much, I told you that you were my hero. It was kind of funny but I want you to know I am your biggest fan. You are an amazing athlete, every time I see you hit a baseball, score a soccer goal, catch and throw a football I am always amazed at your 5 year old talent.

You are a great older brother. Your sensitive and gentle demeanor is such a great fit for your little rascal of a brother Aiden. You have so much patience towards him and you are always looking out for him. Your mother and I always say that it's a good thing you are the older one.

I want to be the father to you that I never had. I will always be there for you no matter what. I know there are things beyond my control, but I want to help you become the best man that I can.

You bring so much joy into my life and I want to thank you for that. Every day when I come home, and you yell daddy and run into my arms, that is the best part of my day. As you grow, you must know that I'm growing with you. I know I'm not the perfect dad, but every day you make me better.

Taciturn

God taught me a little more about patience today. You see there is an old lady who always hangs around the campus. She is a student in our adult education program. She has been a part time student ever since I started working here about 7 years ago, and she will probably be a part time student 7 years from now.

When I first started she used to terrorize our office as she was sort of mean and grumpy. She even cussed out my previous boss once, and has been known to cuss out other school administrators. However for some reason I've always tolerated her. I just give her my usual solemn yet professional demeanor. Over the years she has mellowed out a lot. She hasn't yelled or cussed people out. She does camp out in offices though. I mean she comes in for questions, and stays an hour asking more and more questions and telling stories.

I haven't run into her for awhile since I don't see students as much. But both of my counselor's were out sick today. So that left just me. She asked me to fax some loan deferment papers for her, and the whole thing lasted about an hour. I was trying to rush her out as I had other things to do, not a lot, but more important than her. Well towards the end of our visit, I kind of just settled in, maybe I gave up trying to rush her out. I thought I had to help her, might as well take my time with it. We got to talking a little bit and we actually had a wonderful conversation.

It struck me how lonely this woman must be. 77 years old, kids all grown up out of the house, all of them musicians who live in Germany, and other parts of the world. I don't think she has a husband, she just hangs around the school all day. She said she was going to the library and was going to stick around until they kick her out at 11pm.

As she left she turned to me and said "Smile." and I said "Oh this is my normal countenance."

"Taciturn." She said. "Taciturn?" I replied.

"Look it up", she replied.

So I did and taciturn means; habitually uncommunicative or reserved in speech and manner, reserved, introverted. That's totally me! Taciturn, I like it. You learn something new every day.

She went on to say she was the opposite, knew everything about the world around her but dumb when it comes to knowing herself. She said she has found that introverted people are a lot better about knowing who they are, more self aware. Anyways, it was an interesting conversation from an unlikely situation. I'm glad that we got to get to know each other a little better. Maybe the next time I see her, I won't be in a rush to get rid of her.

Somewhere Over the Rainbow

I drove through a rainbow yesterday. It's been raining a lot in the Bay and yesterday as I was driving home this huge ass rainbow appeared. And as I got closer to my home, I came closer to the end of the rainbow, where the pot of gold is and I actually drove through it. I know I may sound dorky, or seem high like that one dude on Youtube going crazy about a rainbow. But it was pretty cool, I never drove through the end of a rainbow before.

Biblically rainbows can stand for different things in the Bible. The first occurrence of it was right after the flood. It was a covenant between God and us, that He would never do that again. What it meant for me was hope, possibly a new beginning. I was listening to Chris Tomlin's Our God Reigns as I drove through the rainbow and it was just an awesome moment!

Gym Etiquette

Okay for all you gym newbies, there are some unwritten rules that you have to live by in the gym. I was doing squats today and had one of the neck pads on the bar. So I finish my set and start to unload some weights to make it lighter, then this kid walks up and takes the neck pad and walks away!

I was like, "Hey, (louder) HEY!" He takes off his headphones, "Oh were you using this?"

"What do you think I'm doing here?!", I yell. He apologetically gives it back.

Then later when I'm using the leg press, he comes over and steals in a set without even asking me if he could work in!

I didn't say anything that time, but I was thinking this guy is killing me right now!

I think he was a little der, der der, and I felt kind of bad yelling at him afterwards. I really need to learn how to confront people sans the anger. Even when I think I'm not yelling or looking angry people will always say different.

So here are some more etiquette tips to help you survive whilst at the gym so you don't get pounded by some 300lb gorilla:

1) Don't take a machine or a weight that someone else is using
2) Ask to work in if you want to use the same machine as someone else
3) Wipe down your sweat
4) Put your weights away. (Ok if you have worked out so hard you feel like throwing up, I can understand if you leave them).
5) Don't hog a machine. (I do this all the time).
6) Don't hog two machines. (I do this all the time too).
7) Don't spot someone if you don't know how, they could die.

Pros and Cons of Alcohol

Pros

1) Relaxes me
2) Makes me feel sedated/high
3) Usually makes whatever I am doing seem more enjoyable
4) Makes me more social at times
5) Most people drink so it helps me to fit in at social gatherings at work, etc.
6) It's my favorite hobby, the thing that I look forward to doing the most


Cons

1) My wife hates it
2) Expensive
3) Bad for my health
4) Sometimes makes me angry, violent, argumentative
5) Can't drive
6) Don't have full control of my gross motor skills
7) Blackouts
8) Makes me anti-social sometimes
9) Can't effectively watch my kids
10) Feel physically crappy the next day
11) Makes me feel depressed
12) Don't want to pass on alcoholism to my sons
13) Alcohol destroyed my family growing up
14) Have no control of how much I drink
15) Makes me completetly ineffective the next day
16) Diarrhea
17) Bible says not to get drunk
18) Takes away any ambition or desire to do anything besides drink

When I drink I drink for the high, the buzz, but most of the time I don't even get a clean one. It's usually a sloppy buzz. And most of the time, actually all the time I drink past the point of feeling buzzed to either keep chasing it or keep it going, and then I black out and fall asleep.

Is it even really that fun!? Wouldn't I have a better time at doing whatever it is I am doing if I was able to do it coherently and remember doing it!? What is this constant need to chase that high, to desire the feeling of sedation? I guess that is why they call it an addiction, a habit, a compulsion, a need, a dependence, a craving, a compulsion, an infatuation, an obsession. I'm physiologically and psychologically dependent on it. My God how I love it though!

Intercessory Prayer

I got a letter from our new sponsor child John Carlo the other day. He is one of the kids whose compassion center we visited on our Philippines trip.

What blew me away in his letter was that he said he was devoting himself to praying for me and my health. It’s so astounding to think that I am so blessed and honored to have someone pray for me on a routinely basis from across the world. I admit I was a little bit taken aback and had to lift up a quick moment of thanksgiving to God for being able to experience this and to pray for John and his huge family.

I have another friend that I have mentioned before, Nelly. Despite our age differences we became close on our trip, and we have been keeping in contact via email. At least once every other week she emails Mary and I just keeping in touch, sharing, and letting us know that we are in her thoughts and prayers. How freaking amazing is that!

Again honored and blessed are the only words that come to mind. It is a great reminder of how we as Christians are bound together and though separated by great distances, we can instantly lift up an intercessory prayer for those we know and love. Again how freaking amazing is that! It just blows your mind.

2 Kings 5

I’ve always liked the story of Naaman. Maybe because I could relate to his skin condition somewhat. I have leprosy. No I don’t, but in college I had a break out of keloids on my chest, tons of them and I had to get them injected at the dermatologist for years. Keloids are just overhealed scar tissue, but I had tons of them on my chest and it looked unsightly. That’s the main reason why I got the large dragon tattoo on my chest, to cover up the scars, and also to look bad ass.

Anyways Naaman was this great general, rich, powerful, but he had leprosy. When he went to get healing, he scoffed because all he had to do was get naked and dip in the Jordan river. He expected more of a show, after all he was this important and powerful person.



Our church needs a lot of help. I was thinking lately of things that I can do to help our church. I guess in a way I was acting like Naaman, thinking that I needed to something grand, because I am so important. But I realized that the simple small things are just as important. Throwing away the garbage every Sunday, putting the chairs and table away after service, watching the kids, providing Sunday snacks. Those are the things that nobody gets recognized for doing but are so crucial to our Sunday service.

Attitude is important too. Lately I haven’t been getting much out of the messages, but whose fault is that? The biblical principles are sound. Maybe it’s my heart that is cold and unaccepting of the word. Maybe I am expecting some type of grand theatrical show, that gets me excited. I need to humble myself and reexamine the simple message of the gospel.

Second lesson for me, Gehazi, the poor servant of Elisha. He was only looking out for his and his Master’s own welfare. But Elisha rebuked him saying, “is this the time to be hoarding for ourselves!?” Dude got leprosy.

I have much, God has blessed me. But sometime I can get really petty like Gehazi. Recently we gave away two snap and go sets along with a stroller to our house cleaners. I remember thinking we should sell them on Craigslist instead, I bet we could get at least $100. I even suggested that we hold on to them and give them to our friends who might have babies in the future. I wasn’t really even thinking that, I just wanted to hold onto them.

How petty is that!? What are we gonna do with $100? Our friends wouldn’t even accept a used snap and go set. They of course would want to buy a new set of their own for their precious child. But I had people in front of me who would willingly and happily accept our used gear and I was hesitant to let it go. Luckily I have a better half, who helps me to see outside of myself sometimes.