The Incredible Jin

I've been discouraged lately. I guess it's because of a lot different reasons, but the biggest being finding a new Pastor.

My mind set is not really right for the retreat this weekend. I feel very distracted. Angry, sad, confused, filled with unsaid words, rage, all of these emotions running through me at once. Sometimes I feel like David Banner. When things are good and I'm calm, everthing is very peaceful. But then something will happen and I feel this trigger go off and I get filled with this sudden rage and like David Banner, I want to just flex, rip off my clothes and just start smashing things. I think that's why I love working out so much. I get all of my anger and frustration out and go home all tired and subdued.

I prayed with Mary for the first time ever last night. We've prayed in meetings together and she has heard me pray out loud in front of others. But this was the first time we ever prayed together just me and her. I guess that tells you how discouraged I am.

I've always kind of resisted praying with Mary because I feel prayers are personal. I used to hate praying out loud in front of people. But I think sometimes we need to pray for each other out loud, as one voice.

Our prayer time was good. At first it was kind of awkward, we were both smiling really hard trying not to laugh, but once we settled in I think it was sweet and refreshing. I'm glad to have a wife who I can journey this narrow road together. And it is a very narrow road.

If you read this blog and are a fellow believer, pray for me. Pray for our church. Pray for this weekend, let it be...AWESOME.