I Hate Change

This weekend was our Pastor's last weekend. It was also the last weekend before my friend Daniel moves to LA. I am pretty sad. On Saturday we went to Pastor Joe's son, Gideon's 100 day celebration.

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Afterwards me, John, and Simon hung out with Daniel. I wanted to do something, but we ended up doing nothing. Partly because I'm a bad planner and secondly I had to watch Christian and most of my planning involves places where I can't take Christian. =) We did have fun talking and watching the Cal game. After John and Simon left, Daniel and I went to Church's chicken and got a family meal. It was ghettoriffic!

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Sunday we had Pastor Joe and Suhee SMN's farewell at DJ's and Bonnie's. They made some awesome food. We gave them a farewell gift, a really nice camera lens.

Christian playing the guitar.

On Sunday, I prayed for the service and when I started to pray about Pastor Joe leaving I said, "He came here a single man, and now he's leaving a husband and a father." Then something weird happened. I got all choked up and started crying like a little bitch. It was weird because I never cry. I am really sad that Pastor Joe is leaving, I mean I hung out with him almost every week at least once if not two or three times for the past 4 years. I mentioned in one of my old blogs that he was the first Pastor that I have ever really become friends with. And it is true, he is a good friend and I will miss him. But again, not enough to cry. There's no crying in baseball! What's wrong with me!? Maybe it was a mixture of Daniel leaving too.


I feel like I have been through a lot with Daniel. We became friends pretty quickly, especially these last couple years. When he broke up with his finance who also was a good friend of ours, my heart broke. That was the first time I have ever been that devastated at someone else's break up. That Sunday morning when he told me before church that they split up, I felt a pain in my stomach and I thought I was going to cry. (Maybe all the times I want to cry I should just let it out?)

I've mentioned that Daniel is a guy that you really have to get to know, because he kind of has this tough outer shell. I remember the first time I went to the college guy's small group years ago, and Daniel shared his thoughts on the book of James, I thought to myself "Wow this kid is pretty deep." He was like a little brother to me. He didn't have much to say but when he did, it was usually pretty profound. I think he does that on purpose.

I think I hate change. No, I know that I hate change. I like things to stay the same and this is not the same. My moving around all the time throughout my childhood has really traumatized me. I had to say goodbye to too many good friends. I think that's why I was so jaded in high school and early college, pretending to be a tough guy. But eventually I let myself open up, become vulnerable and get close to people. And when these people move out of your life it hurts. Yeah I'm a bitch for sure.

I'm going to try my best to keep in touch with Pastor Joe and Daniel. I think bloggin is a good way.